Weather Sure is Weird today
Daniel Brothers
2/2/2020
Weather Sure is Weird Today
Characters: Roy: a friend
Sal: a friend of a friend
Background man: An expert of physical comedy
Joe: the friend that has a friend to make a friend of a friend.
At rise: Roy sits on a bench waiting, it is cold and he is dressed for a European beach, but as a consequence looks quite good.
[Sal enters uncertainly, she is well bundled]
Roy: Sal? Hi! Its me, I'm Roy.
Sal: Roy! It's nice to finally meet you!
Roy: Are you a hugger? I'm a bit of a hugger.
Sal: Yeah sure!
[they hug]
Sal: Hard to shake hands with such big gloves anyway!
Roy: Ha! That's certainly fair.
Sal: Can hardly feel anything through this material anyway.
[they make that windbreaker shuffling sound to illustrate their point]
Roy: More than certainly fair. I can hardly feel anything.
Sal: Yeah that was quite a choice for the weather we have been having.
Roy: What can I say, I am a hopeful dresser.
Sal: Bit of a false hope don't you think?
Roy: You would be surprised how quickly the weather changes these days.
Sal: Well for the sake of your nips I hope it shifts pretty quickly.
Roy: Haha, yeah.
[Pause, someone walks behind them also heavily bundled and fighting a cold breeze]
Sal: So how do you know Joe?
Roy: oh! yeah. We play volleyball together.
Sal: Oh that's amazing!
Roy: Yeah he is really fire on the, on the court.
Sal: Is it a volleyball court?
Roy: I think so?
Sal: Shouldn't you know so?
Roy: I mean I don't play beach volleyball so.
Sal: Really?
Roy: Why do you say it like that?
Sal: Well I just thought.
Roy: Just because I am comfortable with my body and showing it off doesn't mean I am out here trying to woo you with my physique.
Sal: What? I didn't even mean it like that I just
Roy: No, Joe was wrong about this, I am leaving
[Roy Huffs off angrily]
Sal: I. Wow. Ok.
[She sits surprised, texts someone on the phone, the man walks back across the stage dressed in beach garb bouncing a volleyball. Sal becomes noticeably uncomfortable. Moments later, joe enters the stage also dressed in active wear and jogs in place as he talks]
Joe: Sal! You're looking cozy, didn't like Roy then?
Sal: No he was so. Just, wow it got warm.
Joe: Yeah the weather is weird these days. But Roy?
Sal: Right, no he just seemed so bothered and out of it.
Joe: Really? He has such a level head on the volleyball court.
Sal: So it is a court then?
Joe: (shrugs) Do you want to take that hat off or something?
Sal: No I'm, I'm fine. I have to walk home anyway.
Joe: Hope you're hydrated.
Sal: Yeah, no I. Whew. You know what
Joe: What? (begins to do jumping jacks)
Sal: How are you even alive right now.
Joe: Right back at chyah.
Sal: Ha! That's certainly fair.
Joe: At least that material is thick enough to soak up all the sweat there.
[Joe pats Sal on the back and reacts to the excess sweat by shaking it off in an exercise of Joe's choosing]
Sal: More than certainly fair. I could hardly feel that.
[Sal is noticeably out of it, and confused]
Joe: You alright there? You should probably head home.
Sal: Yeah I really should. Just having some deja-vu.
Joe: Well the weather has been weird lately.
[Sal acknowledges joe by pointing at him, and then shaking makes their way off the stage. Joe continuing to bouncily exercise. Man walks across the stage again but this time with an umbrella and is dealing with heavy rain.]
Joe: Weather sure is weird today.
[Joe bounces off stage]
End