GMEphicles

 Daniel Brothers 

2/6/2021

GMEphicles

Characters: Tobias: A boss at a Hedge fund corporation  

        Potato_in_my_assiclese: a conquering invader

        Greg: A guy.

Chorus: A Group of various office workers and invaders.

Setting: A simple office space lobby, at the base of a large tower in the financial district of NYC. 

[at rise: The chorus of office workers mills about in the lobby awaiting their boss to arrive]

Chorus: The time has come again to hear the change of the day. 

Greg: Where is Tobias in his gilded porche to make a call on the sudden change in the night. 

Chorus: The night change has brought our best laid plans to a sudden and horrid halt. I can see the line in  the sand for us. A black line falls as a red line grows. Collapse akin to the felling of the towers in the years now past. 

Greg: Do not speak ill of the towers collapse, this is not the same

Chorus: Is it not? We will be ruined and broken and covered in the dust of our lost wealth 

Greg: But our lives are spared, it is not the same!

Tobias enters

Tobias: Cast this man out, for he does not know the way. 

Greg: You would call your loss the loss of thousands?

Tobias: I would say my loss is the loss of billions

Greg: In coin but not in life. 

Tobias: There is no difference to me, or any of mine. What worth have you held in your pitiful life Greg? The coin has passed from your hand like sand in a glass, leaving you old and pathetic and now penniless. We here understand the value of a coin, as well as the value of those like you who do not understand.

Greg: You mean to tell me you would sell the lives of your own if the price was right? You mean to tell me, to my face, that the lives of men are nothing but sums of coin in your fund.  

Tobias: I would run a blade through your chest to prove that point right now if I did not worry for stains on the sleeve of my coat.  

Greg: It is a fine coat, it hides your scales well.

Tobias: Toss him out. Let his head hit the pavement as you do, so some sense can be knocked into his thick skull. 

Greg: You can not hold back this tide, you are already pulled under!

The doors open

Greg: You will find no solace in hiding! Your gilded tower will collapse only on you and yours Tobias! He is coming for you! Tobias! 

[tobias waves the doors closed, hands a chorus his coat, accepts a coffee and a folder as he speaks]

Tobias: Tell me more of this conquering barbarian this destroyer of markets from that waste of reddit.  

Chorus: The stocks we have shorted, have shorted ourselves. The villain has taken our bet and undone it with the throng of his chair champions. Our options are few, our scope is limited. If they manage to hold they will see us in ruin. 

Tobias: If they manage to hold. Contact the SEC, let them derail their uprising. It has been done before. The system is set and the cards are only dealt to those who truly play. There has never been, nor will ever be room at this table for these app dashing warriors. 

Chorus: Already today, their apps have brought them undue earnings. 

Tobias: We shall take their apps then. I have spoken to the makers of law, they will bring down their hammer upon these faulty trading apps. In fact I suspect the tide of their swell will already be turning as we speak. 

Chorus: it is true, the tide is quelled, its growth is halting. I can see it on the pandering screens!

Tobias: Now we shift and pivot, we will suffer losses that we can not forget, nor can we forgive. But we will shoulder these losses and fight this bull with strength anew once these redditors lose their hope. 

Potato: But we will not lose our hope Tobias

[The door shakes and bursts open, as Potato_in_my_assicles breaks into the front door in full grecian armour astride a large rocket with bull horns. with assorted troops of chorus around him]

Potato: We will take this stock to the moon with your foolhardy maneuvers Tobias. 

P Chorus: To the moon! 

[A chorus member charges Potato with a clipboard, he stabs them]

Tobias: You have just slaughtered a man in cold blood! 

Potato: He will be fine, he is rich. 

[Some of the chorus takes the stabbed man off]

Tobias: You come into my establishment for what purpose villain? To stab my fourth hardest worker? To cost me more money in the repair of my walls and gates that until this day have kept out the draft and the riffraff. Hmm? 

Potato: I have come to do you a service Tobias. 

Tobias: A service you could lend me would be to return to your paltry day trading and leave what systems my compatriots have put into place alone. 

Potato: What systems have I defiled Tobias? Me and my army have done only what is our right as citizens of the nation under this great monetary power.

[He dismounts]

Tobias: Tell me what service you could offer me then, and leave me to recoup my losses. 

Potato: That is why I am here Tobias. I came to do you this service. To let you know, that though you may have killed robin hood before it flourished too strongly. Our rocket still has fuel yet in its coffers. Do not laugh at us, I beg of you. For you give false hope to your peons. You are but the first king to fall. Do they yet know of your impending bankruptcy Tobias? Do your men know that you have tossed them to the wayside to protect your own skin? 

Tobias: This man tells lies. 

Potato: The truth comes out Tobias, but lies only crumble apart in time. Believe this man if you must, you traders of the broken system, but know this. We will find new paths to your wealth, the system is corrupt but is of the people and of the businesses of the people. You can not block us out for we are all a part of it. As backwards as it may be. We will use your systems to our aid. 

Tobias: Get. Out. 

[Shrugs, dabs, and mounts the bull Rocket.]

Potato: To the moon! 

Chorus: TO THE MOON! 

[They exit leaving the doors smashed open as a cold wind blows into the room]

Chorus 1: Is what this man spoke true? Are we lost? Did you file? Commander it is your duty to tell us what we must do. 

Tobias: And it is your duty to trust and obey. I. 

Chorus 2: Is there hope sir? 

[Tobias looks at them and goes to say something, but can not]

Chorus 1: I look into this mans eyes and I see the pain of loss. We are lost men. Not only greg, not only our fallen comrade, but all of us. And though the ceiling may be glass, even for us peons of the wealthy, the door is now open. Those cast out were more free than us who stayed within

Chorus 2: You do not speak for all of us, we are not yet convinced. If our enemy can deal us this blow we can strike in return. 

Chorus 1: Who do we strike? The apps? The internet? There is no man to target, their leaders are ever changing. Today a Potato_in_my_ass rode in here on a bull, tomorrow there will be some other user with enough play and enough say to ruin this day for all of us on this god forsaken island. You may stay and die on this hill with this false man and his corporation of lies. But I see this as a time to get out. 

Chorus 2: The door, as you said is now open.

[about ¾ of the chorus  goes to exit] 

Tobias: Wait! 

Chorus 1: What are your last words to us, your most honest followers. 

Tobias: The company pens, leave them. And anything that bears my name. It does not belong in the hands of traitors. 

Chorus 1: You are right. 

[the chorus returns to encircle Tobias, his few staunch supporters let him be surrounded and fall into the crowd of people]

Chorus 1: They belong in that hollow chest where your heart should be. 

[The chorus brutally stabs Tobias to death with office supplies, they let him drop to the floor and exit the building]

Tobias: To the moon. That is all there is left to go to. The moon. 

End