Chad and the Legend of Zach
Daniel Brothers
2/13/2019
The Legend of Zach
Characters
Chad: The narrator
Zach: A Legend
Amilia: Honestly a nice person, just not Zach's type
Sarah: Amilia's older sister
Chad: My Broskis with the mostskis. Let us gather our heads together. May the beer flow freely, and the lights be colored, may your life be easy and good under the covers. The following tale is a story written by Daniel Brothers, about a young man Zachariah. As he must do a difficult thing. Break up with the beautiful Amilia. Bummer dude. The reasons are many, but love is not one of them, am-i-right though! Sometimes you don't make the best choices when presented with all the options, for the last character in this tale is Mariah, the sister of Amilia.
Zachariah take the stage alone to express his grievances
Zachariah: I am sad to say it, but I can no longer see my girl. I must leave her The one who took my heart, and my manhood. No simple thing this will be.
Amilia: I will see you in a couple of hours Mariah!
Zachariah: She comes! … Shit!
Zachariah Dives into the bushes, Amilia nearly discovers him as she speaks, he is not good at hiding
Amilia: (on the phone) I will be there! Don't worry about it. What about zach? No he hasn't said anything. No worries at all.
Zachariah: Why is she walking around so foolishly! Is she drunk or something?
She finally walks offstage
Chad: No way dude she just be vibing
Zachariah: Ah! Who are you?
Chad: I am Chad, i know most things. (to the audience) Most everything really.
Zachariah: Oh. Ok. Great. I need to know how to break up with her.
Chad: Damn dude! Why?
Zachariah: Well…
Zach rolls over into the path and looks up at the sky as Chad crouches and watches. They sing
Zachariah: She doesnt make me happy anymore.
Chad: and?
Zach: She took my xbox and my ps4
Chad: And?
Zach: She doesn't let me eat my chicken wings
Chad: That all
Zach: She wants me to take her to the mall
Chad: Your point?
Zach: I just want to be a guy, i don't think I need a reason why, and she keeps giving me reasons to be feeling the blues
Chad: Tell me about it
Zach: Boys with be boys, and i think i need some new toys. Namely an amiibo, a nintendo, and a PSP. And thats just something I can't do when she is still with me.
Singing ends
Chad: Well my dude I can vibe with some of that, but we do not gel with it all. Where is the emotional connection, where is that love dude?
Zach: No that's like the problem
Chad: Why wasn't that in the song then?
Zach: I didn't think of it?
Pause
Chad: So this is her front door.
Zach: Oh!
Chad: You should knock and tell her how you feel
Zach: Even if it's that i feel like i don't like her at all?
Chad: For sure my dude.
Zach: Ok.
Knock, a pause to prep, The door opens Sarah answers in a towel
Zach: Listen, Amilia I
Sarah: Yes?
Zach: Oh! Hello.
Sarah: Hi there, what's your name?
Zach: I'm Zach. Is this Amelia's house?
Sarah: Oh yeah! She is my little sister. Come on in
Zach: Are you sure you seem a little busy.
Sarah: Oh. I'm so fine with it don't worry about it. Amilia should be back in a little bit
Zach: Ok cool
Zach goes inside and sits on the couch inside. He is pretty nervous. Chad looks in from the window and gives him a thumbs up
Zach: So are you just going into the shower or coming out?
Sarah: I am getting into it right now, just make yourself at home. It's not like you haven't been here before
Zach: Right yes, of course.
Sarah: You seem sorta nervous, is something the matter?
Zach: Um. Yes! actually. I came here to break up with your sister
Sarah: oh!
Zach: Yeah
Sarah: So things havent been going well with the two of you?
Zach: No she really has been cramping my style
Sarah: What is your style exactly?
Zach: I like video games
Sarah: Console or PC?
Zach: It's been console until your sister kinda put a stop to that
Sarah: PC is better.
Zach: Don't you need to get in the shower?
Sarah: I do yeah. Do you want to spruce up before you break up with my sister?
Zach: What do you mean?
Sarah: You're cute.
Zach: Oh, um. (looks to the window, but Chad is nowhere to be found) Uh. Ok.
They go upstairs, Chad comes up from behind the couch and a song begins
Chad:
Love is a fickle fiend
coming fast and slow
and often unseen
Lust comes in similar ways
wet or dry
making different plays
Emotions don't mention intention
The lines between lust and love are blurred
Time making hard the feeling mentioned
When sisters love is only left inferred
Amilia opens the door to downstairs
Amilia: Sis! Had to run back for my phone charger!
Sarah: Ok!
Zach: Ok!
Amilia: Is someone up there with you?
Zach comes downstairs, hair still wet but fully clothed
Zach: He So i need to talk to you.
Amilia: You want to break up with me
Zach: Um. Yes actually
Amilia: Not even surprised. Why did you come to my house to break up you could have just called me. Or texted.
Zach: I just felt like I should tell you in person
Amilia: Whatever. Why is your hair wet?
Zach: No reason.
Zach exits, Sarah pokes her head downstairs hair wrapped in a towel!
Sarah: Bye Zach!
Amilia: Sarah?
Zach: Bye!
Zach closes the door and runs
Chad: Some of the choices we make are questionable. We are responsible for our own happiness but that doesn't mean it is good to make other people's lives miserable, but for those who have loved and lusted and lost and gained. I don't know man. But feel the vibe and it will tell you what's shaking my dude. (slams a beer)
End