A New Year Drink
Daniel Brothers
2/12/2021
The New Year Drink
Characters
Eustace: A kindly old Asian man, with a gut accentuated by his laugh which is a frequent if not constant occurrence, particularly after his own jokes.
Maurice: A slightly less kindly old man, probably has anxiety
Attractive beach goer: As named.
Setting
A courtyard at an all inclusive resort. The daylight is bright, and the dappling of waves is reflected on the crisp white walls of the stone building behind the scene.
At Rise
Maurice is sitting at a bench with a camera partially disassembled, he has an assortment of items with him to try and clear sand out of the camera. He is not doing well, and nervously fiddles as Eustace enters from the beech
Eustace: Howdy there
Maurice: Hello.
Eustace stretches on the bench
Eustace: Man the sand sure gets everywhere now doesn't it?
Maurice: It sure does
Eustace: Ehehehe I feel like I have more sand than hair!
Eustace ruffles his hair letting the sand fall
Maurice: No need to help the sand get even more places that it shouldn't be!
Eustace: Oh I'm sorry I didn't see yah were working there!
Maurice: Did you leave your glasses by the beech?
Eustace: NO i just wasn't paying attention
Eustace sits
Maurice: I'm sorry I just.
Eustace: What?
Maurice: I am expecting someone
Eustace: No you're not
Maurice: My niece is coming back with some sort of air in a can to help clear these little gravelly devils out
Eustace: Ok.
Maurice: So I would like you to leave
Eustace: There are two other seats she can sit there. Want a cookie?
Maurice: Watch the crumbs!
Eustace: Why, they are not very interesting.
Maurice: I know which is why I do not want one of them forever caught in one of my lenses. Just a little corner full of oatmeal crumbles. Nearly makes up for the ice skating rink of scratches the lens.
Eustace: You know that your nieces phone probably has a better camera than that in it right?
Maurice: I have often been reminded yes.
Eustace: Also not very smart to be fixing a camera outside. In the breeze. Surrounded by more sand.
Maurice: I figured it could not get any worse. (clearly I was wrong)
Eustace: Well if you didn't want the company you could have just said so.
Maurice: I thought I was pretty clear there.
Eustace: Well I suppose you are right.
Maurice: So if you wouldn't mind. hehem
indicates his work
Eustace: What would you do if I told you I owned a camera shop back home.
Maurice: Really?
Eustace is slowly bobbing his head up and down
Maurice: Oh. Well great what would you recommend I do then?
Eustace: I don't know
Maurice: But i thought you owned a camera shop
Eustace: No I asked what you would do if I told you. and now I know.
Maurice: Alright! You are rude. Sir! I am taking my business elsewhere
Eustace: Gonna spend the new year alone then?
Maurice: What?
Eustace: Gonna spend this next and potentially last new year alone with a broken camera?
Maurice: It's the middle of the day.
Eustace: Do you not celebrate the lunar new year?
Maurice: Do I look like I do?
Eustace: Do I?
Maurice: I could see it.
Eustace: Is it because I'm Asian?
Maurice: I wouldn't. I don't. What do you want?
Eustace: I would like to celebrate the new year, and I was wondering if you might want to partake in a special imbibement
Maurice: I don't drink
Eustace: Yes you do
Puts a strange bottle on the table, Maurice pulls back a piece of his camera
Maurice: I've been sober 23 years to this day.
Eustace: It's non alcoholic
Maurice: I don't believe you
Eustace: Have I given you any reason not to trust me
Maurice: Several
Eustace: Fair enough
He cracks open the top of the bottle which is accompanied by a snap, a crackle, a light show, and a sound cue. Maurice hides
Maurice: Oh! Woah! Oh!
Eustace: More for me then.
Maurice: (climbing up from behind the table) What on earth is in that bottle?
Eustace: A fine new year drink, care to share a glass?
Maurice: I feel like I would have another heart attack trying to drink that grenade in a bottle.
Eustace: Suit yourself
Maurice: I will!
Eustace pours a glass out just as Maurice gets nearly done picking up his camera stuff, you hear an angelic chorus as the amber liquid pours into the glass. Maurice places the last item in his camera bag.
Maurice: Is that a normal sort of drink for the lunar new year.
Eustace: Nope.
Maurice: So it's just something you have?
Eustace: Nope.
Maurice: Fair enough then.
Maurice begins to leave just as Eustace takes a fine sip of the beverage
Eustace: Mmmm
Maurice pauses but continues to leave
Eustace: Mmmm MMmm
Maurice pauses, looks back, continues to leave
Eustace: MRMmmmmMMm
Maurice: All right fine. Fine! My camera is kaput anyway, my niece. Ah who am I kidding my niece doesn't exist. pour me a fine glass of your new years beverage
Eustace: Ah! A good man! here here!
Maurice returns to sit at the table as Eustace pulls out a second glass and sets it on the table
Maurice: What can I say you have piqued my curiosity. hm
Eustace pulls out a can of light beer and pours it into the second glass. Pushes it across the table and raises his glass
Eustace: 新年快乐
Maurice: shin nyan quite le to you as well. But what exactly
Eustace: Do you have any plans for the new year
Maurice: Well i was going to try some nature photography, now that beverage
Eustace: Any regrets from the year before?
Maurice: Just the one right now. Is it?
Eustace: What is your sign?
Maurice: What do you keep in that blasted bottle of yours
Eustace: Oh. of course.
He trades his glass with Maurice, who takes a sip.
Maurice: What is that?
Eustace: Same thing, just in a bottle.
Maurice takes a sip of each, looks perplexed. And then goes
Maurice: All right. You have had your fun. Oldest hooligan I've ever met you are.
Eustace: This side of the atlantic!
Maurice: Good day.
Eustace: (very seriously) Thank you for sharing a drink with me. However brief.
Maurice: You are welcome. Never talk to me again
Eustace: (laughs) 新年快乐老人
Maurice Exits, Eustace caps his bottle. Slams both drinks. He smiles and loiters for a moment until an attractive beach goer walks by. He smiles, acknowledges the audience, and follows saying
Eustace: Excuse me!
End